I sat down and felt the blank of writer’s block. Unsurprising really, after several poor night’s sleep with full moons, eclipses, solar flares and a general feeling of change happening all around at lightning speed.
I tried closing my eyes, and slowing my breath, yet still, nothing came to me. Then I noticed my tarot cards were to one side of my desk. They seemed like a more interesting creative diversion that may inspire a topic. So I shuffled the deck and asked the question “what must I do right now?” The first card I pulled went straight to the heart.
The Magician card reversed suggests you may be working against your own creativity. Perhaps you feel that your ideas are too scandalous or too precedent breaking. Perhaps you feel it should be someone else who communicates these insights or challenges. Perhaps you are uncomfortable with taking a leadership position, even a temporary one.
Damn, I just wanted a light moment, something to lift me. But no. What I needed to hear came back at me first round. It totally triggered my imposter syndrome. After a long hard winter, one turn of events after the other left me feeling like I’d lost my confidence. Back peddling to keep up and put right, yet running myself to exhaustion and then having several issues with my back. Who was I to offer a retreat on how to find your lost courage? I felt like I needed to go on my own retreat. Yet life is not about perfection. Who in life sails through unscathed? Hard moments happen to all of us and when they come by surprise, it’s a matter of doing your best with the tools you’ve got. I can be thankful for the few tools I have up my sleeve, yet I’m not immune and I suppose when these moments do come, they are humbling lessons and reminders, that with the best intentions in the world, we are still only human.
And so, now realising that this was about being honest with myself, I was curious to see where I would be led, so continued to pull the next card.
Rest will restore lack of drive and optimism. The Three of Wands reversed points to a temporary lapse of drive or will. You might have overdone things and burned the candle at both ends. Give yourself some time to rest and relax. When you're feeling restored, another look at existing circumstances will assure you that prospects are still bright no matter what the immediate setbacks might be.
I could not have received better advice… I am so good at providing this space for others, yet I’d got caught in the worry and the uncertainty of my own situation. So my inspiration came, not as I thought, but absolutely what was needed. Like a timely reminder for me to rest and take time to be in the garden, sleep as I need, eat well and enjoy simple things. The big things are always more manageable once feeling restored. Nothing is beyond us, change is always possible and support is always available. We just have to remember to stop and ask.
If I were to ask you the same question, ‘What must you do now?’ What would be your instinctive response?
If you are not sure and in need of rest to discover, you can join me this spring or summer on a retreat, as I guide you to rest, so that you may realise your prospects are still bright too. The rooms are beautiful, the place quiet, and the experience restoring.
You can apply via the form HERE or email me any questions you might have to tamsin@littlefrenchretreat.com.
Until next time,
Much love, Tamsin x
Thank you for these words, Tamsin!
Such true words Tamsin. Wish I could join you for the retreat, it sounds idyllic.